Wow

So much going on since last week. I am one tired girl. I had some strange dreams last night. I dreamt I was taking my bedroom door off, when I woke up I was standing at the door holding on to it. How strange. I shake it off, go back to bed. I dream I am calling someone I have my phone ready. I wake up once again and I am holding my phone, luckily no one was called. It was 3:00 a.m. I know I had a lot of other dreams last night, but I am glad I don't remember. What a strange night.

So gma is in the hospital in Portland. Went in for a angiogram, had to get a stint put in the right side. Doc says she is doing fin and in recovery, next thing we know she is being rushed back into the or. Her blood pressure plummeted. The had given her morphine, which lowers your blood pressure, but not like hers was, then she is given nitroglycerin, that just makes shit worse. They finally realize she needs another stint on her left side, damn how did they miss that.

I should not be so bitter, if she had not gone in for a stress test last Wednesday, she could have had a major heart attack by next week. OMG! Not grandma. I am told by my cousin Lolita, who happens to be a nurse, that she is doing ok. I am so happy Lolita is there. She can keep an eye on things. You know when the doc or nurse comes in and tells you all the stuff that is going on, you have no clue what they are talking about, but Lolita does, thank you!

So it is a big day for Richard and I today. Counseling! Oh boy, I am so nervous. He stayed out until 12:30 again. Ever since that moment of waking and wondering my sleep has been very erratic. As you all know by my first paragraph. So...counseling, what to expect? Am I to blame for this big fuckin' mess. Both of us to blame? What is going on in my honey's head. God I love him with my whole soul. I have spent half my life with him. Please let this be the answer to whatever our problem is. If not, man what do I do, what does he do? I have never been on my own, weird. From my parents house to Richards house. Our house!

I am so fucking tired!!! I need sleep, I need to wake up the boys for school. I feel like we need to take a personal day. Why not? Derek has been coughing and snotty. James not so much, but he could use it. Poor thing trying to figure out the craziest math ever. All I have to say is WTF?

Ok, I think I'm done. SLEEP!