So Far

It is Tuesday night, I am actually not that sleepy. Strange for me. The me that is in bed and cozy by 9:00 p.m.

Was able to take the boys to school again, that feels so good. I also had to go to Petco, which in my bizzaro world is not an easy task. I called my mom while I was there. My heart was skippin' beats and I felt like I had someone sitting on my chest. Damn it, it really pisses me off.

I am at a place now, where I just get pissed off at all this "nonsense". I am so ready for this time in my life to be done with. I want of this scary ride. I am trying to keep my arms in until the ride stops, but I am ready to stick them out and see if I can reach the brake.

I have learned some breathing techniques, but that is all I think I will take from this experience. Wait let me take that back. I learned how much I am loved and how I can fight back the darkness. It has been very difficult, but I am doing it. It is so slow. I believe it will happen again. Of course I don't want it to, but I am sure there will be more storms to brave. If it does happen again, maybe it won't be as bad. And if it is bad, I know I have tons of people to call and not be embarrassed by it. It is not my fault!!!

Now I (we) just wait and see if the meds are going to do their jobs and pull the brake on the ride.

I am sleepy now, going to bed. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!